In most respects, Twitter is a bubble that shares little in common with society at large — disproportionately occupied by politicians, journalists, and those who profess to care about politics and journalism. In other ways, Twitter is a highly respectable microcosm of the broader world, in that it is overwhelmingly terrible and seems to only ever get worse.
The best and worst tweets are not the ones that are most honest or dishonest, principled or unprincipled, righteous or vile. Rather, they are the ones that, deliberately or inadvertently, find new and creative ways to make our timelines just a little bit better and/or worse. Any tweet roundup can highlight the xenophobia of a given Postmedia columnist (and goodness knows that’s a chunk of our business model), but sometimes you just want to appreciate their third dachshund’s Bark Mitzvah.
Here’s some of what crossed into CANADALAND’s orbit this year, in chronological and no other order:
Happy to announce that https://t.co/ERLbG4mYmk is now accepting @Bitcoin! pic.twitter.com/NnIP9AO4X5
— Norm Kelly (@norm) January 10, 2018
some ideas for ways to honour Ursula K. LeGuin:
– punch a fascist
– pet a cat
– invent a gender
– join a collective
– have an orgy
– run for city council
– live in the woods
– protest in the streets
– dream— Neville Park (inactive) (@neville_park) January 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/InklessPW/status/958022850031398912
would be curious what @MichaelFordTO, the Canadian politician who seems to most fit the Jordan B Peterson target demographic, thinks of him if anything https://t.co/3cW77F8wGH
— 12:36 🌯 (@1236) February 5, 2018
Our version of Netflix and Chill is TV and O.
— Peter Pandemic (@TheRealFRZA) February 6, 2018
Very much this pic.twitter.com/Ii0ZOQmA1s
— Nora Loreto (@NoLore) March 1, 2018
Looks like another pirate has gone straight. A win for the law-abiding. pic.twitter.com/3sSx1j2IIZ
— David (P) Leonard (@davidpleonard) March 1, 2018
#Trudeau govt says #marijuana legalization law prohibits advertising "appealing to young people". Yet, image 1 is Health Canada-designed marijuana logo. Images 2 & 3 are @TeamCanada hockey logos. Exact colours. So similar. #NotAppealingToYouth? #C45 pic.twitter.com/Htv7TagTuk
— Sen. Denise Batters (@denisebatters) March 21, 2018
What station is he on ?
— Joe Warmington (@joe_warmington) March 25, 2018
Bad news. Turns out Possum Lodge was a militia.
— Will Sloan (@WillSloanEsq) March 30, 2018
in my mind she just walked up to this microphone, said that, and left pic.twitter.com/2idShebl6C
— 𝐑𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝! (@RYLANDDUNCAN) April 11, 2018
Who is writing these headlines pic.twitter.com/FtWxuMJgZs
— Laurel Nikiforuk (@thelauraxe) April 16, 2018
Yet more lazy, click-hungry bullshit with misleading header completely unsupported by text of article. Truly discouraging https://t.co/8poS7VZDsS
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) May 16, 2018
Canadian Twitter is the Prime Minister's best friend getting into a spat with the Prime Minister's ghost writer https://t.co/q1lO3eKAC2
— Adrian Morrow (@AdrianMorrow) May 17, 2018
Another adventure in cretinous .
I am resolute in my love for Canada. Am coming to truly hate its “news” outlets. https://t.co/wcViLnIlUP— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) May 20, 2018
Finally made a meme that'll go viral pic.twitter.com/DcZn70Z4Jc
— Nick Nemeroff (@nicknemeroff) June 7, 2018
https://twitter.com/johnsemley3000/status/1007046443482451969
2016: "Come on, you're talking like Trump's going to put people in concentration camps"
2018: "First of all, I think it's offensive that you refer to them as 'concentration camps'"
— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) June 20, 2018
I believe you. Lots of people think that. It's an honest mistake. But @johnsemley3000 knew.
— Barbara Kay (@BarbaraRKay) June 28, 2018
https://twitter.com/BillyArmagh/status/1020373256291856384
https://twitter.com/call_me_olamide/status/1011275148798910466
Every single time. pic.twitter.com/KI2HSR7o1p
— Matt Elliott (@GraphicMatt) July 25, 2018
With this tweet, I challenge the bitter little shithead Justin Ling to a debate on his stupid podcast or my awesome one. I will kick his ass.
— Warren Kinsella (@kinsellawarren) August 3, 2018
I hereby officially declare the death of political correctness in Canada.
**********
Je déclare officiellement la mort de la rectitude politique au Canada.
— Maxime Bernier (@MaximeBernier) August 19, 2018
movie pitch: this exact headline without the first four words https://t.co/wBN4Vncwnv
— Anthony Oliveira (@meakoopa) August 19, 2018
This is the trucker's fist. pic.twitter.com/kvXVz77PLY
— Joe Warmington (@joe_warmington) August 27, 2018
Here’s where Wayne Gretzky was born. pic.twitter.com/CNJK9fBiL8
— Michael Moore (@MMFlint) September 10, 2018
My apologies everyone…I meant teats- suckers! Written after 2 glasses of Rosh Hashanah wine!!!
— Sue-Ann Levy (@SueAnnLevy) September 10, 2018
https://twitter.com/SheenaGoodyear/status/1040263668934602752
TORONTO BEGS FOR MORE POWER is a terrible headline. The Post shows its hand even when it's meting out measured writing like this. DubFub is wreaking madness and havoc on democracy and this is the paper's take. Fuck them. https://t.co/dmQLin2uXH
— @hockeyesque (@hockeyesque) September 15, 2018
It's my own words you horse's ass. Fuck yourself. https://t.co/x0VJqSgUP2
— Chris Selley (@cselley) September 15, 2018
You have a problem with the column, lay it on me. If you want to imply someone on the desk "showed the Post's hand" — on orders from way on high, presumably — by putting a perfectly reasonable headline on it, I'm going to tell you again to fuck yourself.
— Chris Selley (@cselley) September 15, 2018
you don't fucking deserve this city.
— @hockeyesque (@hockeyesque) September 15, 2018
you're the one who told me to go fuck myself.
— @hockeyesque (@hockeyesque) September 15, 2018
If you consult the record from <checks notes> like three minutes ago, you will notice you came in first and said "fuck them" to my newspaper and my colleagues.
— Chris Selley (@cselley) September 15, 2018
people are losing their jobs and you're saying it's a grab for power. fuck.
— @hockeyesque (@hockeyesque) September 15, 2018
garb like garbage. see you in the delete bin.
— @hockeyesque (@hockeyesque) September 15, 2018
Wow, big hire for CBC pic.twitter.com/Of2gIyMyoE
— Melissa Martin (@DoubleEmMartin) October 17, 2018
Brazil's new president elect, Jair Bolsonaro, is a right-winger who leans towards more open markets. This could mean fresh opportunities for Canadian companies looking to invest in the resource-rich country. https://t.co/g00QUOeutt
— CBC News Alerts (@CBCAlerts) October 28, 2018
My Twitterless friend Matt made this and I can't even. #skpoli #cdnpoli pic.twitter.com/paKZz8Nglc
— David Fraser (@DCFraser) November 7, 2018
@RahRahRaina PLEASE don't use "dusty" to describe archives. It's an inaccurate stereotype that delegitimizes the work of archivists. In the vault, you won't see "dusty, old reels" you'll see specialized containers protecting the reels from gases, mold, and mildew. @CBCMornings
— Emily Lonie (@EmilyLonie1) November 15, 2018
lol that's hilarious because that's happened like 6 times and I've always responded more quickly when they blasted me publicly.
— Jesse Brown (@JesseBrown) November 22, 2018
They know why https://t.co/h83jd7Dnt4
— William Shatner (@WilliamShatner) December 9, 2018
